There are so many things society tells us that we, as parents, should feel guilty about. We’re constantly being told what we should be doing, how we should be raising our kids, what our homes should look like, and even how we should spend our free time.
Well, I’m here to tell you that you can let some of that guilt go.
Here are 10 things busy moms can stop feeling guilty about.
#10: Having a Messy House
Let’s face it: If you have kids of any age, chances are there is going to be a room in your house that isn’t clean.
No house can be kept perfectly clean all the time. Life happens. Kids play. Laundry piles up. Dishes somehow multiply overnight.
A messy house doesn’t mean you’re failing as a mom. It means people actually live there.
I’d much rather spend some of that time playing with my kids than constantly chasing them around with a vacuum cleaner. There will always be something that needs to be cleaned. Your kids won’t always be little enough to ask you to play.
#9: Not Volunteering for Everything
Room mom or dad. Bake sales. Band fundraisers. Snack parent for the sports team. School events. Class parties.
It is okay not to offer your time for every single thing your child’s school asks parents to do.
You don’t have to be the parent who volunteers for everything that comes home in the abyss that is their backpack.
Save your volunteer time for the events that truly matter to you. There are other parents, grandparents, family members, and community members who can help, too.
You are allowed to say, “I can’t this time.”
#8: Saying No
This ties right into number nine.
Your time is important, and you get to decide how you spend it.
You can tell your child’s teacher no. You can tell your child’s coach no. You can tell your friends no. You can even tell your family no.
Saying no doesn’t make you rude, selfish, or uncaring.
If you spread yourself so thin that you’re exhausted all the time, you’re not doing yourself or your family any favors.
And sometimes, you just have to ask yourself: Does this actually fit into our lives right now?
If the answer is no, it’s okay to decline.
#7: Ordering Takeout
Sometimes you just have to call an audible and order takeout.
That doesn’t make you a bad mom, and it certainly doesn’t make you lazy.
Sometimes your day has completely drained you, and the last thing you want to do is figure out what everyone is going to eat, cook it, and then clean the kitchen afterward.
A fed family is what matters.
It doesn’t have to be homemade every single night. Sometimes dinner comes in a takeout container, and that’s okay.
#6: Having Convenience Foods
Boxed mac and cheese. Store-brand groceries. Microwaveable meals. Frozen pizza. Chicken nuggets.
These things exist for a reason.
Your life is busy enough between work, kids, school, appointments, and whatever after-school activities are on the calendar this week.
Sometimes throwing a frozen pizza in the oven or heating up a handful of chicken nuggets is exactly what you need to do.
Your kids got fed.
You survived another busy day.
That’s a win.
#5: Having a Business
Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or you work a full-time job, you are allowed to create something of your own.
Having a business doesn’t mean you love your kids any less.
It doesn’t mean you’re choosing your business over your family.
It means you have dreams, goals, talents, and ideas that you want to pursue.
I work a full-time day job, but I also have three online businesses that I run on the side.
I’m hoping to build something that leaves a legacy for my boys. More importantly, I want to show them that you can create something of your own, work toward your goals, and build something you’re proud of.
I want them to see that being a mom doesn’t mean giving up on who you are.
#4: Working
This one ties into number five.
Whether you work a 9-to-5 for someone else, work from home, work part-time, or run your own business, you are allowed to work.
Everything in this world costs something.
We have bills to pay, groceries to buy, registration fees, equipment, school supplies, activities, and countless other expenses that come with raising a family.
For many families, having two incomes isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity.
You aren’t selfish or uncaring because you work.
In fact, working can be one of the ways you care for and provide for your family.
You are allowed to be proud of the work you do.
#3: Not Being a “Pinterest Mom”
Pin this one to your refrigerator because this is a doozie.
You don’t have to be a Pinterest mom.
Your house doesn’t need to be perfectly curated, and your kids don’t need elaborate activities that take longer to set up than they actually take to do.
My son is 13 months old, and he absolutely loves boxes.
A recent trip to a close friend’s house also proved that he is perfectly happy playing with stackable Tupperware.
And you know what?
He’s having fun.
You don’t need to get up at 3 a.m. to make your kids homemade birria tacos or cure your own corned beef for homemade Reubens.
Your kids will be just as happy with store-brand corned beef or a school lunch.
They aren’t going to look back someday and say, “Mom never made me homemade corned beef.”
They’re going to remember the time you spent with them.
#2: Asking for Help
This might be one of the hardest things for moms to do.
I personally struggle with this one.
It isn’t that I don’t trust my husband to care for our son. I just don’t want to burden him when he works so hard to provide for our family.
Sometimes our son wakes up in the middle of the night and takes hours to go back to sleep.
I struggle to ask my husband for help at 3 a.m. when our son is fighting sleep because I know my husband has to get up and work the next day.
But here’s the thing:
I need help, too.
If you’re the house manager, the family scheduler, or, as my father-in-law jokingly calls me, the “cruise director,” you don’t have to carry everything yourself.
Create a family calendar. Keep a running list of groceries that have run out. Write down chores that need to be done. Let your family know what needs to happen.
And then let them help.
Asking for help doesn’t make you weak.
It doesn’t make you a bad mom.
It makes you human.
#1: Taking Time for Yourself
This is the big one.
Moms are human, too.
We aren’t robots. We aren’t superheroes. And we cannot keep running on empty forever.
You need rest.
You need quiet time.
You need time to do something that makes you happy without someone asking you for a snack, asking if they can watch Bluey, or screaming “Mom!” repeatedly from another room.
The saying “you can’t pour from an empty cup” may be a cliché, but it’s true.
As moms, we put everyone before ourselves.
We stay up late packing lunches. We make sure the favorite sweater is clean. We remember the favorite snacks at the grocery store. We keep track of appointments, school events, birthdays, practices, permission slips, and approximately 7,000 other things.
And somewhere in the middle of all of that, we forget about ourselves.
Taking time for yourself doesn’t make you selfish.
It doesn’t make you lazy.
It doesn’t mean you love your family any less.
It means you’re human.
So stop being afraid to ask for help. Take the break. Drink the coffee while it’s still hot. Go for the walk. Take the shower without an audience. Read the book. Sit in the car for ten peaceful minutes before you go inside.
Whatever it is that helps you recharge, make room for it.
Because you matter, too.
Give Yourself Some Grace
Motherhood comes with enough responsibilities without adding unnecessary guilt to the list.
Your house doesn’t have to be perfect.
Dinner doesn’t have to be homemade.
You don’t have to volunteer for everything.
You can work.
You can build a business.
You can ask for help.
And you are absolutely allowed to take care of yourself.
Being a good mom doesn’t mean doing everything.
Sometimes being a good mom means knowing what you can let go of.
So give yourself some grace.
You’re probably doing a much better job than you think.
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